Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Autumn Migration



Geese migrating across
the autumn sky on their way...
to the parking lot

(That's where they ultimately landed.)

(Doesn't make for very good haiku...sigh.)

~~~


xoabb
signing off now to go practice her haiku writing skills

~

12/01 @ 8:02pm update: Well well well! There have been a few developments here concerning this particular haiku I tried to pen. Daughter dearest (AKA Formerly Affianced - don't ask, it's a once-sad story, and now she's happy and just needs to change the name of her blog - and actually post on it!...oh dear...TMI!). pointed out the first line of the above haiku contained 6, not 5, but 6 syllables. Perhaps, this is the greatest haiku sin I have ever committed (let's not discuss the quality content of the three lines, please). She suggested losing the a in across. Hmm...I like that better than replacing ~migrating~ with ~flying~ or ~winging~. Consider it done! Then, my friend, Flea, penned a haiku in the right rhythm that was just wonderful:

Geese flying across
The golden wheat near water
Safe in parking lot

So very nice, Ms. Flea! Thank you!


~~~

Live & Learn!


15 comments:

  1. Mother, since when are haiku's 6 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables? Migrating is three syllables, so go do a strike thru on that a in across...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Annie!! You're back!!! And with a haiku!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow.. you comment section supplies its own editor! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL yes...haikus are funny things aren't they - some are so beautiful but parking lots ... I had to laugh again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awesome! Great to see you again!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What's wrong with geese landing in a parking lot? No one will shoot them there. I'll try my hand at a haiku:

    Geese flying across
    The golden wheat near water
    Safe in parking lot

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah ... no. Not so much with the whole parking lot thing. Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Flea, you are so much better at this than I am...and darling daughter, just try to top Flea!!! HA!

    ReplyDelete
  9. And Hil? That comment editor idea? I'm cannin' it! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. My migrations end similarly! Small world.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Here, there is another sad goose phenomenon. Sad because it reflects badly on the rest of us Canadians. I have noticed that our migrating geese don't have the wherewithall to fly in a V. They are all over the damned place. Either they're bad spellers, Gen X'ers who don't give a damn, or high on mushrooms.

    I just don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think they're high on mushrooms. (In response to the Baroness.)

    Come to think of it, I'd have to be high on mushrooms to have the patience to do this haiku stuff, so hats off for (a) knowing what it is, even if you may be off by just a syllable or so according to Daughter and (b) having the non-mushroom-induced patience to write one.

    No mushrooms were ingested in the writing of this comment, and if they had been, I'm not sure they would have instilled patience, but what do I know.

    (Don't you wish some people would limit their comments to haiku-esque length? Sorry for that.)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am now GUFFAWING over both Daughter's and Hilary's comments .. and I do not understand Haiku maybe it due to my poor math skillz?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tell the Haiku police to get off your case...who cares! It is called "poetic license". Actually, I liked this poem...made me smile at the ending. And the photo is gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to leave a thought. It's appreciated! xoabb